and now i'm lying in bed... i had a four-hour nap today. that, in conjunction with the sweltering heat and excessive number of mosquitoes in my room, is contributing to my current case of insomnia.

lalalalalala!!

about five seconds ago, i wanted to write a journal entry. felt like i had some things i wanted to say. now i'm sitting here watching a very mediocre movie and reflecting half-heartedly on my choices and life.

ocean of noise.
by far the best song on arcade fire's 'neon bible' album.
i've been listening to it on repeat for the past 24 hours.
no joke.

vive la noche

honesty isn't the best policy, it's the only policy.
unfortunately, as aware as i might be of what i honestly need to do, acting upon that knowledge can be a lot more difficult than i might like.
to give someone the benefit of the doubt is doubtless a good thing, albeit potentially destructive.
we'll see how it goes.
certainly everything will work out exactly as it's supposed to, so i'm not worried.
only as prepared as i can be.

in other news. i miss some of my calgary compadres these days.
they know who they are.

Wake up and smell the coffee

This morning saw a new era begin in my life.
I woke up early without an alarm, as usual, only this time I used the extra time to my advantage.
Rather than maximizing head-to-pillow time, regardless of sleep, I got up and brewed my first cup of coffee for myself!
Cue the celebratory, triumphant big-band music!
That's right... no more will I be spending up to $5 a day on coffee.
Now, I can have the sweet, black awakening elexir every morning without the guilt of spending oh so needlessly.
There will be some fine-tuning involved, as this morning's hazel-nutty brew was just a little on the strong side.
That could be the reason for this excessively jubilant, early-morning blog.
Welp, I came to work early for a reason.
Away I go to write.

listening to jm's 'something's missing.'
thinking about my bro.
wishing there was something i could do
to help him and make him see
what a beautiful person he is.
thinking about my friend.
her strength in spite of the pain,
physical. emotional.
i shared her fear with her yesterday
and we cried together for the first time
since she got sick.
i wish i could fix them.